My friend Joel

 ​I learned recently that my friend Joel died.  Joel was a quirky special man.  We met in 2009 at an art class.    I noticed he was wearing a similar fairly rare coin on a necklace to mine and as we talked about why we wore that specific coin we became fast friends.   Back then he was a wreck, in the final year of his miserably failing 27-year marriage. He was shlumpy, overweight, and didn't take care of himself (the photo to the left is Joel when we first met). We took another class together that fall but haven't seen each other for 5 years though we've maintained somewhat regular phone calls over the years - every 2-8 months or so. After his divorce he transformed his life and became zen. Literally. He' took up yoga, going to week-long yoga retreats. He modified his once sedentary lifestyle and started riding his bicycle, skateboarding, walking, standup paddling, etc.  He lost a significant amount of weight, a complete transformation. I was back up in DC for meetings last January and met up with him for the first time since that art class. We caught up on life, laughed, and talked about all sorts of things. He's a funny man - kind and generous. I genuinely like him and will miss his presence in my life.
 

Joel - after his transformation

Joel came to Florida in February to visit his mother who winters down here on the other coast of Florida and then came over for a weekend visit. We played tourist, paddling a river, checking out manatees, enjoying a local art walk, and hanging out with my friends. It was a very good time. He returned to his Mom's after our visit and sent me the photo below. It had been a month or so since I’d talked to Joel. It was not uncommon for us to go that long without talking - I’d been on vacation and he’d been living his exuberant life, celebrating his 60th Birthday with his family, and taking care of his mother who’d fallen. I left a voicemail asking him to call me back so we could share stories. The next morning I got a call from his sister telling me he’d had a heart attack and never recovered. She said she’d heard stories about me that that he spoke of me often and knew she had to call when she heard my message. Joel’s death reaffirms one thing for me. It is critical to live your life and not let any opportunities pass. You never know if today will be your last. I’m thankful he was in my life and know for a fact I will never forget him. I’m thankful he found peace in his life and had so much fun over the past few years.  

Joel - This winter just after his visit.