My friend Joel

 ​I learned recently that my friend Joel died.  Joel was a quirky special man.  We met in 2009 at an art class.    I noticed he was wearing a similar fairly rare coin on a necklace to mine and as we talked about why we wore that specific coin we became fast friends.   Back then he was a wreck, in the final year of his miserably failing 27-year marriage. He was shlumpy, overweight, and didn't take care of himself (the photo to the left is Joel when we first met). We took another class together that fall but haven't seen each other for 5 years though we've maintained somewhat regular phone calls over the years - every 2-8 months or so. After his divorce he transformed his life and became zen. Literally. He' took up yoga, going to week-long yoga retreats. He modified his once sedentary lifestyle and started riding his bicycle, skateboarding, walking, standup paddling, etc.  He lost a significant amount of weight, a complete transformation. I was back up in DC for meetings last January and met up with him for the first time since that art class. We caught up on life, laughed, and talked about all sorts of things. He's a funny man - kind and generous. I genuinely like him and will miss his presence in my life.
 

Joel - after his transformation

Joel came to Florida in February to visit his mother who winters down here on the other coast of Florida and then came over for a weekend visit. We played tourist, paddling a river, checking out manatees, enjoying a local art walk, and hanging out with my friends. It was a very good time. He returned to his Mom's after our visit and sent me the photo below. It had been a month or so since I’d talked to Joel. It was not uncommon for us to go that long without talking - I’d been on vacation and he’d been living his exuberant life, celebrating his 60th Birthday with his family, and taking care of his mother who’d fallen. I left a voicemail asking him to call me back so we could share stories. The next morning I got a call from his sister telling me he’d had a heart attack and never recovered. She said she’d heard stories about me that that he spoke of me often and knew she had to call when she heard my message. Joel’s death reaffirms one thing for me. It is critical to live your life and not let any opportunities pass. You never know if today will be your last. I’m thankful he was in my life and know for a fact I will never forget him. I’m thankful he found peace in his life and had so much fun over the past few years.  

Joel - This winter just after his visit.

Life is too short.

Truth.

Pet Peeves

Things always work out as they should.

Maybe just not how I want exactly when I want them.   

Santorini: 1986

There is a man who texted his way back into my life a few weeks ago.  To get context you have to flash back to 1986.  I was 20.  I'd been to Greece the summer before (1985) on a student-exchange program and met Tasos.    Tasos and I were inseparable that first summer from the day we met.  At the end of the summer I had to go home.  I went back to school, attending a local community college.   At the time I thought it perfectly normal and nothing special for me to buy a one-way ticket the next summer to go back to Greece to go be with a man 13 years my senior in the name of love.   My family flipped out and with good reason, looking back.   I left home in Early July.  Tasos and I traveled around for the summer, camped on beaches, explored the monasteries in Meteora.  Tasos knew exactly how to play me and did it very well.  I think at that age it's easier to just give in to your emotions and let them lead you wherever they may.  Tasos was all Greek, dark, charismatic, sexy, and my first big love.

September came and he had to go back to work teaching music. I didn't have a job and had invited a girlfriend from high school to come to Greece and go travelling. Over her 6-weeks in country she and I explored Greece a bit.   We ended up on Santorini, an island in the Mediterranean.  One evening we were sitting in a little taverna watching the sun go down over the core of the volcano (Gorgeous!).  We were playing, "Guess that nationality" where we'd try to figure out where the patrons of the bar were from.

A very blond man walked in.   My girlfriend immediately thought he was German.  I knew he was American.  I was right.  He had that friendly smile that only Americans who LOVE to travel have.  That smile says, "Hi!  I'm open to whatever experiences I find while traveling".  That was Mitch, to a T.  He soaked his travel up with every fiber of his being - just like I did.  While we go for the destination we know the trip there and back is really the best part.  That's the meat of it and where the magic happens.

So that evening in the Taverna I smiled at him and he promptly came over to our table to say hello.   I, speaking Greek, responded and asked him how his day was.  He was trying valiantly to communicate while we were pretending we didn't speak English.   Just a few minutes in my girlfriend and I started laughing and speaking English. We all became friends, including another guy showing up the next day.  His name was Mitch and we shared crazy chemistry but I was involved with my Greek lover so our chemistry was of no consequence.  We all spend the better part of the week together, hanging out at a nude beach, exploring the island, laughing, etc.   My girlfriend focused on sun worship and the other guy was trying hard to get laid - by anybody.  This left Mitch and I to share time on the beach in long talks.   After the end of the week my girlfriend and I went back to Tasos'; house.  That other guy - I'm not sure where he ended up.  Mitch went on to Egypt to see the pyramids and finish his "Bang Your Head World Tour".

Here we are, hanging out in Thira on the Island of Santorini.  We're both 29 years older now, hopefully wiser, definitely grayer, and that chemistry - it's still off the charts.

A half a year later I'm back home in America after Tasos punched me (on the chin with his fist).  We had a really stupid fight, and No, I didn't deserve it.  It's a long story not right for this blog.  I left a month later after selling my camera to buy a ticket home.  I didn't tell my parents why I was home until I was 46 (yes - 26 years later).  I digress.

Back to the story: about a year after my escape, Mitch and I planned a Santorini reunion.  We met in Chicago for a long weekend. The other two didn't join us. Mitch got a great room and unbeknownst to me at the time had hopes for romance.   I didn't let the energy we shared amount to anything.  I didn't have the words to say some things that I needed to say before getting intimate and because I didn't (couldn't) tell I wouldn't let Mitch touch me and just shut down.  I hurt his feelings.  Mitch never understood why I didn't act on the obvious chemistry that was so thick you could cut it with a knife.  Years later I found Mitch's phone number and spoke with him once about 7 years ago for a few minutes.  We promised to keep in contact but didn't.  I left a few messages over the years and got no responses.  Last October I found him on Facebook and was thrilled when he accepted my friend request that same day.   We have had no other contact though until he clicked Send with a Happy Birthday text a few weeks ago.   And that his how Mitch came back into my life.

Chemistry between us is still very much present, proven by a ridiculous number of text messages and emails and hours on the phone.  We've always had horrible timing for romance and still do.  I am very happy to have Mitch back in my life, even if I can't feel his breath on the back of my neck...

Bonaire, Snorkel day

No more scuba for us for safety reasons as leaving the island tomorrow.  Instead of diving we went snorkeling with our cameras and stopped at the Salt Pier because we were told by the cute Kite City food truck boys that turtles like to hang out there in the sand flats to the north of the pier.  We were not disappointed! Saw 2 or possibly 3 turtles, all swimming quickly away as soon as we spotted them.  Mary was shooting her fish eye lens which turned out to be a very good choice.  She got some nice Action Chick photos of me freediving around the pier.

Mr Turtle.  Photo by Mary.

Yours truly freediving at the Salt Pier.  Photo by Mary.

Yours truly freediving at the Salt Pier.  Photo by Mary.

Yours truly freediving at the Salt Pier.  Photo by Mary.

 Then we headed south to Tori’s Reef (I think?) because the book said it was good snorkeling. It was just OK… Cool to swim with huge schools of tiny fishes in the canal but the rest of the site was really hammered and rather boring. 

A Scuba selfie of Mary and I.

Fantastic Trip!!

Bonaire: Dive 17 – The Lake, Dive 18 – Pink Beach, Dive 19 – Captain Don’s Habitat, Via Buddy Dive, Dive 20 – Bonaire Oceanfront Apartments House Reef – Night/Flouro

Dive 17 – The Lake 

90 ft/49 minutes

NICE double reef.  Fairly easy entry… Worth doing again.  Spent quite a bit of time out on the second reef because the coral was in such good shape and really fishy. 

Dive 18 – Pink Beach

116 ft/52 minutes
Surface Interval :28 Minutes

General fun in harassing a large (the biggest yet) lionfish that was out in the sand channel between the reef steps – see the photos.

That HUGE Lionfish, large enough that Mary was essentually hiding behind it in this photo.  Notice her yellow fin.  

Mary and I took turns taking photos as the beast turned it's fins from her to me.  That is their defense mechanism - if you get too close to a Lionfish you end up looking at their butts.  

Mary, Photobombing the Lionfish.  

Dive 19 – Captain Don’s Habitat, Via Buddy Dive

98 ft/48 minutes

Surface Interval 3:03

It was ok.  We swam over from Buddy Dive.  The wall wasn't entirely vertical – more of a slope.  Saw a Black Durgeon, lots of file fish, and a lot of eels, etc…

French Angels in a wreck at Capt Don's.

Another eel...

Maryphotobombing another eel.

Yet another eel.

Dive 20 – Bonaire Oceanfront Apartments House Reef – Night/Flouro

73 ft/59 minutes

Last dive of the trip.  It started out lame.  I only had video lights so had to stay with Mary.  Half way through it was starting to feel like a bust but then we started seeing eels everywhere.  Sharp-tail eels in a pile and lots of spotted eels out hunting culminating in a large spotted coming out into the open, being aggressive to my camera, then swimming into a crevice in the mooring and snatching a male sergeant major for dinner.  How cool to watch the eel eat – if a bit creepy.

Mary photographing those little eels.

You can see a silver Tarpon cruising behind the eels.

A closer view.

This guy was about 4 feet long and is the subject of the video below.  

Listen carefully and you can hear Mary laugh.